Therapist is out of the office this week and feel like tearing my skin off. More than usual, I mean.

I wish I weren't so paralyzed all the fucking time. I wish I could have said and done the things I wanted. But sometimes (most of the time) I can't move and I can't speak, I just go on autopilot. My eyes are burning and I don't know what the fuck I'm trying to say. Sunday has come early this week, it seems.